My life-transforming 21 days of silence ended three years ago today. The end of that retreat was the beginning of a whole new life in this body. It's difficult to put into words the evolution that's occured since then, but it's like looking back on many lives.

There have been so many changes in the last three years, but can words ever capture experience itself? The remarkable thing about Divine Openings is that it gives us the pure experience -- so precious, after talking about it and hearing about it for so long. We're here for the joyous experience.

Today there is a sweet recognition of just what "the end of seeking" has meant to me. The evolution now goes at light speed, but effortlessly, easily, naturally. There is no need to do anything, or work at it. There isn't even any wishing for it, only an occasional asking, knowing it will come. There's a sweet relaxing, relaxing, relaxing more and more and more into the flow.

Today I'm exactly where I need to be,suspended somewhere in the incomprehensible vastness of time and space, yet not feeling small or lost. Not complete or perfect, but PERFECT. Not knowing what's next, and not concerned about it. These are no longer platitudes. It's all felt and known, completely, deeply, to the core.

As time goes by, Life becomes more and more and more simple.
It's about living right now, in this moment.
This moment is literally all there is.
Talk about the power of now. This is it.

Yesterday is hard to remember.
Tomorrow is a blank canvas.
I've relaxed into an eternity of expansion, with no end goal, nowhere to rush to.
I have no life plan, and live in bemused curiosity, smiling as I wonder what will come next.
I have desires, but they can suddenly flutter away like leaves when the Divine wind blows in something better than my imagination could conceive.

When I'm not teaching or counseling, I now have absolutely no interest in talking about spirituality. I want to live an ordinary life, vacuum the floor, go dancing, and talk about horses, dogs, and what to do about the brown spots on my tomato plants. 

There are way fewer posts in the member forum as time goes by, although there are many more members, because the experience replaces talking about it, and the new people are getting there faster and faster.

I can't relate much to the word "spiritual" anymore. I feel funny even saying it. Either everything is sacred, or nothing is! I no longer know what "spiritual" means, even though for other people's convenience, I still wear the label of spiritual teacher. It simply makes no sense anymore to separate out certain things and put them in the spiritual category. It's all Life. I do love raving about Life.

I have nothing to say about "spirituality"and Spirit, unless I'm channeling a session for someone who asked for it, writing a course, or a blog like this. I don't want to convince anyone of anything in my daily life.

It's so much more interesting to live it than talk about it.
To breathe rather than discuss air.
To swim rather than philosophize about water.
To smell the freshly cut grass, rather than analyze how the nose works, and ponder who is smelling.

Of course I'll willingly continue to write and create, as guided, in my work. My passion for sharing Divine Openings with you is alive and well. It has evolved, though. Three years ago, in March 2006, I would have thought success by March 2009 would look like being very busy, being in the media, on talk shows, perhaps being on Oprah. I have a famous friend who lives that life, and when I mentioned getting together recently, he named a date two months in the future when he'd be free.

Then in a flash it occured to me -- that life is not my heart's desire at all, and never was. It was my head's desire -- and even that wasn't my own idea.

That was someone else's concept of success I once bought. Fortunately my Large Self knew better, and created exactly the life that my heart desires. It's quieter, less insanely busy, healthier, more private, and balanced. There's plenty of time for enjoying nature, friends, my many, many interests ..... and deep silence. It brings tears of appreciation to my eyes.

People have been sharing lately that the deeper they go, the more precious the mundane everyday things in life become. Pruning a tree in his yard, watching her husband get angry and just loving him, feeling causeless bliss unexpectedly while washing dishes. They're surprised.

This is, unexpectedly, what it's about. But you wouldn't have gone for it if you'd known this is where it would lead, because there was no way to explain this that would have attracted you. (I'm smiling.) No, you had to think the chase was going to yield you that money, cure, man, house, or woman. That job, that toy, or that ticket out of this world.

So The Presence used whatever carrot on whatever stick was necessary, to get you to buy the ticket, to get you to go on the journey, to get you here. You had to get here to know how wonderful it is. IT is so simple, you saw everything but IT. Oh, you probably got, or will get, the money, the man, the woman, the health, the house, or whatever...

But by then, you'll know that wasn't IT.


David Whyte, the Welsh poet, says it so beautifully and simply
in the last few lines of his work,The Opening Of Eyes:

It is the man throwing away his shoes
As if to enter heaven
And finding himself astonished

Opened at last
Fallen in love with solid ground
Fallen in love with solid ground

Those are the most powerful lines, but here is the whole poem.
I highly recommend his CD's of himself reading them.
Let the words wash over you:

That day, that day,
I saw beneath dark clouds
The passing light over the water.
And I heard the voice of the world speak out

I knew then as I had before
Life is no passing memory of what has been
Nor the remaining pages in a great book waiting to be read

It is the opening of eyes long closed
It is the vision of far off things seen
For the silence they hold

It is the heart
After years of secret conversing
Speaking out loud in the clear air
It is Moses in the desert
Falling to his knees before the lit bush

It is the man throwing away his shoes
As if to enter heaven
And finding himself astonished

Opened at last
Fallen in love with solid ground
Fallen in love with solid ground

**************************************

I'm in love with solid ground.

And although it's late,
I'm like a child who doesn't want to go to bed just yet.
Not just yet..... just a few more minutes
to be awake,
playing,
creating,
smiling.

Love You,
Lola